may seem paradoxical to be afraid to read to you while having a blog where I hang my writing. William
comments in his blog (besides getting on monstrous ego) what it costs to show their stories. I agree with him on some things, like I do not like teaching anything until it's finished, I hate to see the creative process, teach hate pieces or things by halves, I hate when I'm writing and someone comes and tries to look over your shoulder, then cover my leaf ... and not because it is really unimportant, but because it's what I read, it's just a germ that may be very different from how the story will end.
The first time I did an automatic writing exercise in the multiverse that was the hardest. Do not write, that was easy, you start and let the words come alone, without worrying much whether they make sense ... but then had to show what he had done. There could be the germ of a story but it was not the story itself, was something mean, incomplete, perhaps only loose ideas. It was a moment of total panic was repeated in all the workshops I attended, I do not let fear prevent me from participating in them, but I can not get rid of him.
remember the first story posted on the Internet, a fanfic I wrote and I hung on page The Dragon Orb was the first time they showed something like this in public, strangers would to read it, wanted to show the story at the same time he feared the possible barrage of negative criticism as it can. What if no one liked? I was lucky and liked the story, I wrote again, liked them, but fear is still there, in fact, it is becoming worse. At first no one knew me, who came to my story I did just trying to see what was, now people know me, I have a good reputation, they say I write well .... expect a level that may not always be able to give. I guess it's partly fear of disappointing those who expect a lot from me.
Multiverse In exchange the stories we tend to correct, and that also cost me, but show the story is already finished, as I want it. Sometimes I like what I do, other times not, when I fear I do not like criticism, I'm prepared for them and thank you but when I like the result I feel a terrible fear that others may not see the story as I see it I have not managed to convey what he wanted, but for me the result is perfect. Varies both the perception of a public writer (that would for another entry). If I have learned this past year is that I can not judge my own work.
brings us to the novel. Last year I started writing a novel, in May I did the first draft, June, I rewrote ... and let stand, has been resting since then, just before Christmas I decided to take it up and what I did was to rewrite it again. I have clear that there are parts that I need to change, details to be fixed and that the end is horrible but is it necessary to rewrite everything? When I talk to rewrite I mean word for word, there are times when I'm not changing anything, you just copy what I wrote, and I have not even clear who is right. And why do it? Maybe it's the same fear. At the time the end I have to do something with it, ask someone to read it. I'm panicked that time and I think I'm stretching everything I can, until the end I have not to ask anyone to read it.
And here is where you, who read this blog, intentaréis cheer and take off the nonsense above, but the truth is that being able to write something does not mean that something is good, and every time I have more clear that what I fear is not failure, or criticism, which is afraid to disappoint me.
But we can not let the fear paralyze us, although we have always spinning around us.
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